I H.A.T.E. Hotel Astoria!

Erik promised that if we got up at 7am to hike the 1350 steps up to St. John Fortress, we could drive to the beach at Perast after. Deal.

As recommended by Anita at the hotel (she’s the only good thing about Hotel Astoria!) we hopped a small fishing boat to Our Lady of the Rock Island.  Apparently, every July 22 local men row out to this artificial island to contribute a rock. Then it was a seaside lunch at Admiral Restaurant. The fresh sea bass in olive oil and garlic with a tomato salad (I’m obsessed with the tomatoes here) was the best meal I’ve had this trip. So pure, so fresh. The white local wine paired well and was refreshing as the temps reach above 90.

Then it was off to Pirate Beach, where I actually went into the sea!  It was ice cold. But I did it!  Check!

Local white wine enjoyed at Admiral in Perast

Upon arriving back at the hotel, I was informed, in the middle of the lobby, that I would be billed 1600 euros for the replacement of the glass door.  What?! Dear Hotel Astoria, did I mention that I’m a luxury travel writer? Did I mention my buddy travelling with me is an attorney? 

Bay of Kotor--not what's it's cracked up to be

Three countries on this trip will not suffice. Departing from Dubrovnik, we estimate it will take an hour to get to Kotor, Montenegro. We didn’t anticipate the dirt and gravel roads.  The drive indeed was interesting. The drive around the bay was again, breath-taking. Clear waters, so blue. Gorgeous coastline.

Upon arriving in Kotor, I could tell I would be underwhelmed. Massive cruise ships were docked in the harbor. More toursits. Hotel Astoria, our four star home (I was reminded by the front desk staff at least three times during check-in that they were four star) for the next two nights, seemed like a nice place. (Can you sense some foreshadowing?)

Upon checking-in, I ran up to the room to use the bathroom. As I sit down on the toilet, I carefully close the bathroom door—it’s glass. Said glass crashes down on top of me…raining over me like a hail storm. (Yes, I’m sitting on the toilet-peeing)

Really? Lost luggage, Bike accident, and now glass falling on me? I buy a haulite necklace. While this stone is supposed to be for Libras—it is also used to calm people. I need to be calmed at this point. I wear it immediately.

Glass door at Hotel Astoria that fell on me!

After exploring the old city—again tiny enough to exlpor in an afternoon, we decide to have drinks on the square outside the hotel. The menu included “fried foie gras.”  I’ve never had FRIED foie gras, and since foie gras is currently banned in California, I don’t think I’ll have an opportunity to try it soon…so I order it. So rich. So fried. So sick.