Feeling like it's time to go home...

I couldn’t get out of Hotel Astoria fast enough. We decided to drive 30 minutes south to Budva….another seaside village. At this point, I’m tired. I'm cranky. I’ve been on the go for over three weeks. I just want to relax. I’m tired of sitting in a car, walking, sight –seeing.  I don’t want to take anymore photos. All these places look the same!

Upon arriving, we see it’s just another town like the previous 10 we’ve seen. We order a pizza and beers, wander around to a few churches.

Sveti Stefan-- an islet and former Adriatic playground to the rich and famous in the 1980s. It's now connected to the mainland by a narrow isthmus. Sveti Stefan is about 5km south of Budva, so even though I was exhausted, I wanted to drive over and see this playground. I didn't go onto the islet, but the views from the mainland were beautiful

View of Sveti Stefan, Montenegro

Then it's off to Tivat to catch the ferry back across the bay. (It’s 10 minutes shorter to take the ferry. It cost 4.5 euros—Montenegro is on the Euro and you don’t have the scenic drive—but we had the scenic drive on the way in!)

The one thing that has struck me is the wonderful scents of the liquid soap. They all smell so lovely! I actually look forward to washing my hands at each place we stop so I can smell the soap!

The further south we travel, the less English we hear…and the less English is understood.

Our finally stop in back in Croatia at the town of Cavat. Cavat is about 10 minutes from the airport and about 15 minutes from Dubrovnik. It’s a great place to stay for a 6am flight.  The hotel, Hotel Croatia (so creative!) is massive—reminds me of being on a cruise ship.

Dinner was another adventure as we choose the one restaurant in town where a group of senior citizens is on a tour. Bring.me.wine. now. The fish filet I ordered arrived to me in a heavy cream sauce (pretty sure I wouldn’t have ordered that) so I did my good deed of feeding the homeless. I fed the stray cat that hang around our table.

I’m tired. I want to sleep. Two shots of lozovaca should do the trick…

Good night Croatia. It’s been fun.

I H.A.T.E. Hotel Astoria!

Erik promised that if we got up at 7am to hike the 1350 steps up to St. John Fortress, we could drive to the beach at Perast after. Deal.

As recommended by Anita at the hotel (she’s the only good thing about Hotel Astoria!) we hopped a small fishing boat to Our Lady of the Rock Island.  Apparently, every July 22 local men row out to this artificial island to contribute a rock. Then it was a seaside lunch at Admiral Restaurant. The fresh sea bass in olive oil and garlic with a tomato salad (I’m obsessed with the tomatoes here) was the best meal I’ve had this trip. So pure, so fresh. The white local wine paired well and was refreshing as the temps reach above 90.

Then it was off to Pirate Beach, where I actually went into the sea!  It was ice cold. But I did it!  Check!

Local white wine enjoyed at Admiral in Perast

Upon arriving back at the hotel, I was informed, in the middle of the lobby, that I would be billed 1600 euros for the replacement of the glass door.  What?! Dear Hotel Astoria, did I mention that I’m a luxury travel writer? Did I mention my buddy travelling with me is an attorney? 

Bay of Kotor--not what's it's cracked up to be

Three countries on this trip will not suffice. Departing from Dubrovnik, we estimate it will take an hour to get to Kotor, Montenegro. We didn’t anticipate the dirt and gravel roads.  The drive indeed was interesting. The drive around the bay was again, breath-taking. Clear waters, so blue. Gorgeous coastline.

Upon arriving in Kotor, I could tell I would be underwhelmed. Massive cruise ships were docked in the harbor. More toursits. Hotel Astoria, our four star home (I was reminded by the front desk staff at least three times during check-in that they were four star) for the next two nights, seemed like a nice place. (Can you sense some foreshadowing?)

Upon checking-in, I ran up to the room to use the bathroom. As I sit down on the toilet, I carefully close the bathroom door—it’s glass. Said glass crashes down on top of me…raining over me like a hail storm. (Yes, I’m sitting on the toilet-peeing)

Really? Lost luggage, Bike accident, and now glass falling on me? I buy a haulite necklace. While this stone is supposed to be for Libras—it is also used to calm people. I need to be calmed at this point. I wear it immediately.

Glass door at Hotel Astoria that fell on me!

After exploring the old city—again tiny enough to exlpor in an afternoon, we decide to have drinks on the square outside the hotel. The menu included “fried foie gras.”  I’ve never had FRIED foie gras, and since foie gras is currently banned in California, I don’t think I’ll have an opportunity to try it soon…so I order it. So rich. So fried. So sick.

Six border crossings later and we're in Mostar, Bosnia!

Because we can, we drive to Bosnia. What does this mean? Six times  we stop at check points. The unique shape of Croatia and the location of Mostar, Bosnia require one crosses the border twice over the 3 hours drive. Each check point has two stops—one Croatian; one Bosnian.  How do I best describe Mostar? A mini Grand Bazaar like Istanbul. Scaves and junk everywhere…

After a déjà vu moment when I craved currywurst in Cologne last week and ate in three days in a row (yes, I hate it now) I had to have the Cevapicici Pita at Savdran. It was great. I don’t hate it, yet. I’ll stop while I’m ahead.

After you take a few photos of the bridge (it was re-constructed after the 1990’s conflict) and you walk the old city “bazaar”—you’ve seen what you need to see.

Since it was on the way back to Dubrovnik, we decided to stop at Mali Ston (“mali” means “old”) for oysters. This little village right on the Croatian/Bosnian border is the oyster capital of the world. I had three oysters at Villa Koruna, a nice glass of local white wine, and was about to purchase local sea salt when a very drunk guy approached the table and yelled, “you’re an asshole!” at me. I’ve never been called that before. And when he proceeded to pull out a chair and sit at my table, I promptly walked to the front to get my bill. The manager was more concerned with showing me the award his restaurant won for oysters….in 1936!

Again, Mario’s recommendations on restaurants did not fail. Spaghetteria Toni—on the same street as Pizzeria Mirakul, Konoba Lanterna, and Taj Majal, was excellent. The Bucatini all’ Amatriciana was nice—especially paired with a nice local red.

The Bridge in Mostar

Discovering there is a whole other part of the Old City “higher” up beyond our apartment, we stopped in at Kopun for after dinner drinks.  The carob liquor, also known as “rogac” is my drink of choice.

A three island tour...

A three hour tour. A three hour tour.  Three island cruise to Elaphiti Islands: Kolocep, Sipan, and Lopud. The going rate is 290 kn….but Anja and I who are quite experienced from negotiating in Morocco secured the tour for 250 kn. Score.

I hate tours. I think they are for old people, and you see and eat what they want you to see and eat. I’ll choose my own pellets, thank you.

No surprise, the 1 hour we were promised on the first island was cut to 40 minutes. The second island was cut from 90 minutes to 60.  And the last island from 3 hours to 2.5 hours. The “fish picnic” of grilled mackerel was good, I must admit.

View from Kolocep 

All these island are starting to look the same! My first day, I was in awe of the gorgeous coastline. But now, I have to be honest, it’s all beautiful, and it all looks the same. I don’t need to take any more photos!

Unfortunately, while it was sunny today—it was very windy. I was determined to use my “Dubrovnik beach towel”—so cheap and thin and touristy!  So for an hour we took in some beach time on Lopud Island. I have yet to get in the sea!

I finally ate Cevapcici at Taj Majal. The thing about dining in Dubrovnik is that your waiter dosen’t come back to check on you. If you need something, you need to flag them down. And forget about them bringing the check. You’ll sit there all night (really) until you find them and ask for it.

I wanted to sleep well. The espresso before bed last night wasn’t my most brilliant decision. So, after dinner drinks at Café Kase were sounding good. The domestic grape brandy called “lozovaca” is now one of my favs…Can I have another? “of course.” The response is always “of course.”

Dubrovnik--all in a day!

View of Old Town and Lokrum Island from the Cable Car

Mario saw my legs at breakfast (breakfast-which is included at Hotel Kazbek-- consists of cold cuts and cheeses and bread) and was concerned. He had just the cure—“rub olive oil on your legs today-swim in the sea tomorrow.” I love the natural approach they take to medicine here. Five minutes later, he’s knocking on my room door with a nice bottle of olive oil.

After staying the first three night of Lapad Penisula, we decided to experience the craziness of Old Town—in a luxury apartment in the heart of it all.  Amoret Apartments, nestled right around the corner from our beloved Arch Pub, and right outside the Dubrovnik Cathedral was a prime location.  (You can see the skull. Legs, arms, and throat of St. Blaise here.  Photos are forbidden. Rules are meant to be broken.)

For 87 Kuna you can take the cable car high above the Old City for amazing views.
Well worth the wait and the kunas. No Andy mishaps today called for a celebration. Beers in bathtubs at Art Café!  This eclectic café has retro fitted claw footbath tubs as seating.

Have I mentioned there are tourists and gelato everywhere?

The most advertised restaurant in the Old Town is Taj Majal. It is not as the name suggests, and Indian restaurant. It’s Bosnian. Is happens to be on the same street as our Pizza Mirakul. The wait is 50 minutes. We’re not waiting 50 minutes. I pull the journeyPod car (literally whip out my biz card—they don’t care.) We make a reservation for tomorrow night and take two steps to the left to Konoba Lanterna. “Konoba” is the word for restaurant.  When my meal arrives, Igor (our very dumb waiter) hands me a pork kebob platter. So sad. I want cevapcici! Not sure how the mix-up occurred….but the local wine helped my sadness.

After dinner we wandered over to the waterfront to investigate possible island tours for tomorrow. We spoke with a wheelin’ and dealin’ guy named Matti. I felt like he was trying to sell us a used Oldsmobile. We negotiated a price for a three island tour, was ensured there would be no Japanese (sorry Japanese friends), and only 16 people total. And then somehow, an hour later, we are negotiating a rental car with him. It seems his friend has a company and can give good price….shocker.  So cruise sales guy sell rental cars on the side. Nice. Now—off to find a beach towel…

My leg modeling career is over

Mjlet is an island about 90 minutes boat ride away. It’s known for the two salt water lakes that are on the island, and also it is a National Park. I will remember Mjlet as the place I rode my mountain bike off a cliff and was given Slovenia Liquor to shut me up.  The boat, Ana Nona, departed the Harbour at 9:15am. And for 108 kn roundtrip (that’s about $20) we headed for what we thought would be a relaxing day exploring the national park island.

The bike. My legs. Ouch.

We arrived. We rented bikes for 60kn each. Mine had a basket. As you know, I’m an experienced biker. I ride my hot pink and lime green beach cruiser nearly daily. I know bikes.  (note to self…bring lots of kuna when you visit Mjlet—the entrance is 90kn and they don’t tell you that before you leave the mainland!) I should probably just stick to my beach cruiser. In an attempt to find a quiet place to take a dip in the salt water lakes, we stumbled upon a private road. Next thing I know, I’m sliding down a small cliff, bike on top of me, as I feel my leg flesh tearing away.  Bloody and looking zombie-like, the inn keepers of Villa Jezero come to my rescue with a first aid kit and to cure my tears, Slovenia Grappa. They spoke a little English, a little German, a little Italian. The incident was well communicated. Apparently, there were doctors staying at their Inn, but they were still asleep at 1pm, and said if I could wiggle my toes, all was good. Nice. Toes are wiggling, blood is a flowing…all over me. 

I arrive back to the castle, covered in blood. I just want a shower and a good meal, and some nice local wine. Since Mario hasn’t failed me yet, we try his suggestion of Blidinje. The rooftop open dining area overlooks the marina, and is a few steps from the castle. Perfect.  The grilled meat and vegetable platter hit the spot. BBQ meats and grilled veggies—esp eggplant and zucchini are quote popular here. The one meat I was surprised not to see was lamb. I really wanted lamb.